Lo! The conquering hero comes!

Fantasy versus reality

Last year I had occasion to travel to Pasadena for an education conference. Despite a busy schedule, I had a grace period after the Saturday afternoon sessions and made plans to stroll over to the Caltech campus. More than a decade had passed since my last visit to my alma mater. I was keenly anticipating the experience. Caltech is a curious mix of sights and structures: Millikan Library is a soaring city landmark; Beckman Auditorium is architect Edward Durrell Stone's fanciful Greek temple; the Olive Walk is the east-west axis of the campus, running from the Athenaeum faculty house to the old site of Throop Hall (demolished after incurring damage in the 1971 San Fernando Valley earthquake).

When I was originally at Caltech in the 1970s, the campus was split by San Pasqual Street and my classmates once amused themselves by painting an unauthorized crosswalk to make it more convenient to get to Booth, the computer science building. When I visited the school in the 1980s, the institution had succeeded in getting San Pasqual shut down between Holliston and Wilson Avenues, freeing the center of the campus from vehicular traffic. I knew from the alumni magazine that new buildings had continued to pop up as Caltech expanded its research programs and the facilities that housed them.

It was early in the winter quarter of 2008 when I arrived on the California Boulevard side of the campus, retracing a path I had often walked during my junior year. Some things never seem to change. As I strolled past Sloan Laboratory, where I had spent many happy (and unhappy) hours learning advanced calculus, abstract algebra, complex variables, and combinatorial analysis, I noticed that the old metal plate in the sidewalk was still there. I still don't know what is hidden underneath (which, I admit, shames me as a former Techer; perhaps it connects to the ancient and legendary steam tunnels), but I passed over it with the familiar clang I recalled from yesteryear and made my way to the student houses that flank the Olive Walk.

Suddenly things were different, but you had to get close enough to notice it. The student houses had undergone extensive renovation but the plans had called for preservation of the original architectural features. (The new fiber-optical cables and other technological enhancements were hidden and the building interiors had been restored after reconstruction and reinforcement.) In most respects, they looked the same. However, as one approached more closely, dramatic changes were revealed. It's the age of homeland security.

I was locked out. The big main doors were secure. I could not recall that they had ever been locked during my undergraduate years, but I was not certain. I was certain, however, that there had never been locked gates keeping one from the central courtyards. The formerly open archways were no longer open. The new gates were metal grills overlaying clear plastic panels. You couldn't even stick your hand between the bars. Electronic locks offered card-swipe access for those with appropriate IDs. I hovered tentatively, wondering what to do next.

The Fantasy

“May I help you, sir?”

I looked to see who had spoken. A young man with dark hair had come up behind me and asked the question.

“Hello,” I replied. “I was a member of this student house over thirty years ago and I'm a little surprised to see how everything is buttoned up these days.”

He favored me with a quizzical expression. It all seemed normal to him, of course.

“These gates are new,” I continued. “I wasn't expecting them.”

“I can let you in,” he offered. “Would you like to look around?”

He swiped his student ID card through the reader and held the gate open for me. I asked his name and learned he was Abih, a student from North Carolina. He escorted me into the lounge of the student house. The big fireplace and the old piano were still in place. The portrait of the house's namesake was sitting atop the mantle, awaiting the finishing touches of the remodeling that would rehang it in its customary place.

My presence attracted the curious attention of the resident students, who wondered what odd circumstance had caused them to be visited by a middle-aged man in coat and tie. My escort clarified matters: “We have a visiting alumnus. He was a member of this house.”

That piqued their interest a little, if only out of politeness.

“How long ago? What was going on at Tech back then?”

I played my best cards: “Well, when I was here they demolished Throop Hall, the cannon appeared on the Olive Walk, the ‘Impeach Nixon’ banner was unfurled on Millikan Library, and one of our alumni walked on the moon during finals week.”

Throop was not even a memory for the current crop of Techers and the Fleming House cannon was now a mundane and regular fixture of the Olive Walk, but the moon landing story was intriguing to this assembly of students for whom rocket science was simply another elective. They warmed to me.

“Why are you here today?”

“I'm in town for an education conference. I'm a math professor from up in northern California. Before that I used to work at the State Capitol as a legislative assistant.”

One of the Techers brightened: “There's a Tech graduate who blogs under the name of Zeno. Do you know him? He's a math prof and a former government worker, so you have a lot in common. Sometimes he mentions Caltech, which is why we know about him.”

“Yeah,” said another. “It pops up in my Google reader alerts whenever he does.”

I grinned. “I have to admit that I know him pretty well, since that's the name I use when blogging.”

By now the word had trickled out from the lounge and throughout the student house. They crowded in to check out the minor celebrity in their midst. A couple of hours later, my stock of ancient Caltech lore finally tapped out, I begged their indulgence and excused myself for the night. There was another conference session in the morning and it wouldn't do for me to stay up any later. Even as energized as I had become, all good things have their end. I thanked the current residents of my old student house for a delightful evening and faded away into the night.

The Reality

“May I help you, sir?”

I looked to see who had spoken. A young man with dark hair had come up behind me and asked the question.

“Hello,” I replied. “I was a member of this student house over thirty years ago. I'm a little surprised to see how everything is buttoned up these days.”

He favored me with a quizzical expression. It all seemed normal to him, of course.

“These gates are new,” I continued. “I wasn't expecting them.”

“I can let you in,” he offered. “Would you like to look around?”

He swiped his student ID card through the reader and held the gate open for me. I asked his name and learned he was Abih, a student from North Carolina. He escorted me to the lounge of the student house. The big fireplace and the old piano were still in place. The portrait of the house's namesake was sitting atop the mantle, awaiting the finishing touches of the remodeling that would rehang it in its customary place.

“Thanks for letting me in, Abih. It's nice to see the place again.”

“You're welcome. I'm on my way to meet friends, so I have to go, but you know your way around, right?”

“Sure. Thanks. I can let myself out.”

We shook hands and he hustled down the hallway. There was no one else around. I wandered about for a few minutes, taking in the familiar lounge, dining room, and courtyard. I had expected that at least a few students would be in residence even on a Saturday night, but perhaps the grinds were holed up in their rooms and the more sociable types had found activities to attend.

I decided to exit by the big wooden main doors, which swung ponderously open. The lock engaged noisily when I shut them behind me. My visit to my old student house had been very brief. I had plenty of time to roam the campus and take in some other sights. As I strolled down the Olive Walk, I considered how differently my visit might have turned out.

There were many possibilities.

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To have and to hold

What's mine is mine

My grandfather liked to think he ran a taut but happy ship, but he was still surprised to hear the tuneless whistling coming from behind the dairy barn. He circled the building to where he found Josezinho pitching hay into the manger of the calf pen. Josezinho noticed the presence of his boss and paused for a moment, leaning on the handle of his pitchfork.

Bom dia, patrĂŁo.”

Bom dia, Josezinho,” replied my grandfather. “You seem especially happy this morning.”

“Yes, patrĂŁo. I have good news. Very good news.”

Josezinho pulled a carefully folded letter out of the pocket of his jeans and passed it to his boss. It was postmarked the Azores, and it was from Josezinho's wife, who was awaiting her husband's return after he had made his stake in the United States. Forty years earlier my grandfather had faced a similar prospect, joining the stream of Azorean men who came to the U.S. to earn enough American dollars to return to the Portuguese islands as men of substance. In Grandpa's case, however, his wife had vetoed the idea of his going by himself. Grandma's insistence on accompanying her husband had transplanted the entire family to California, inadvertently setting the stage for their permanent residency in the U.S. Now my grandfather was one of the well-off American employers who could pay munificent wages to immigrant workers.

He unfolded the letter and scanned it quickly. For several seconds Grandpa was speechless. He looked back up at the smiling Josezinho with a puzzled expression on his face.

“You see why I am happy, patrĂŁo? I have a son!” Josezinho's grin broadened.

My grandfather cleared his throat.

“Yes, Josezinho. Yes. Your wife says she had a healthy little boy who is doing very well.”

“Yes, he is strong, like his father!”

Grandpa paused for a long painful moment.

“Josezinho— You must know— Uh, yes.” Grandpa took a deep breath and tried again. “Josezinho, you know how long you've been working for us.”

“Of course, patrĂŁo. I remember very well. It will be two years next month.”

My grandfather waited for Josezinho to grasp the nettle, but his hired hand was still beaming.

“But, Josezinho, you haven't been with your wife in almost two years. I'm very sorry, Josezinho, but there is no way that boy can be yours. How could you not see that?”

Josezinho stood up straight in his righteous wrath, took back his letter, and answered his boss emphatically.

“What do you mean, patrĂŁo? She is my wife! She had a son. That boy is mine! You see that calf right there?” Josezinho pointed at one of the young cows he had been feeding. “You call that your calf, don't you? Because its mother is your cow. Same thing. My wife has a son, so it is my son!”

Josezinho sniffed indignantly and took hold of his pitchfork again, stabbing it into a bale of hay and breaking it apart so that he could resume his feeding of the calves. My grandfather stood regarding his employee for a while longer and finally nodded his head.

“All right, Josezinho, all right. Thank you for explaining. Congratulations on your son.”

Somewhat mollified, Josezinho gave his boss a curt nod in acknowledgment and redoubled his hay pitching. Grandpa turned and walked away, waiting till he rounded the barn before shaking his head in bemusement.

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Knock, knock

A classroom passion play

The door rattled on its hinges at the impact of the heavy blow. We jumped at our desks and our heads snapped around to stare wide-eyed at the classroom's back entrance. A second loud rap. A third. The knocking became louder and more rapid. Almost frantic.

Those of us who could tear our attention away from the door looked to our teacher. She seemed as startled as the rest of us, but as the only adult present it fell to her to respond. She worked her way through the crowded room and approached the back door. The pounding continued as she reached for the knob.

We were in a parochial school classroom, grades one through four jammed into a single room. Our parish was not big enough to support a full-scale Catholic school, but our priest was an ambitious man who had struggled to make our school a reality. Monsignor had done much of the construction himself and dragooned parishioners into volunteering their assistance. My family and I had spent many weekends contributing our time to the construction of the buildings. My dutiful parents had enrolled me despite the school's meager resources and suboptimal conditions. I was deemed resilient enough to survive the ordeal, but my siblings remained in the cozy cocoon of the public school.

The teacher turned the knob, the door burst open, and it was Monsignor who charged into the room. He pushed past the teacher and glowered at the assemblage of students, some of whom were trembling. We were not necessarily relieved that the manic door-pounder had turned out to be someone we knew. Monsignor was an intimidating principal.

“Why didn't you answer the door?” he demanded.

No one spoke.

“Didn't you hear me knock?”

All too well. We made no answer. Some of the first graders were hiding their faces. That wouldn't please Monsignor, but it was better than letting him see you cry.

“You know, it's customary to open a door when someone knocks. You could miss a special opportunity or an occasion of grace.”

Yes, we'd all seen the kitschy pictures of Jesus at the door. None of them appeared, however, to show our Savior pounding the portal like a psycho.

“What if it had been an emergency?”

It had certainly sounded like one.

“What if I had been running away from a maniac?”

Instead of just being one?

“What if he had had a knife? I could have been running away from a maniac with a knife! I could have been running for my life!”

Much as we wanted to. Right now.

“I could have been trapped on the other side of the door and unable to escape. I could be lying on the ground right now, bleeding to death from stab wounds, all because you didn't open the door!”

We savored the thought.

Monsignor moved toward the center of the room, having discharged his pent-up emotions and calming visibly. He was apparently satisfied that he had taken the opportunity to teach us an important life lesson. Evidently we were not to encourage knife-wielding maniacs to stalk our pastor or to abet their pursuit of him. I was still too young at the time to consider the possible nature of the demons that might be in pursuit of Monsignor. Our unhappy pastor languished in our tiny parish, his heavenly reach clearly exceeding his earthly grasp. He lived in a kind of purgatory.

He scanned the class in a leisurely fashion, taking in his pedagogical domain. One of his tentative smiles flitted across his lips. Pleasant expressions never lingered long, knowing where they were unwelcome, but Monsignor had made his shift into his avuncular mood. It was his best effort to embody the concept that “the principal is your pal” (as if the statement were something more than a simple spelling mnemonic).

“So what have you been learning today? What has Mrs. Roe taught you?”

It was an impossible question. There were four grades in one room. Our teacher circulated among us, priming each group with a lesson and then leaving us to scribble in our workbooks while moving on to the next. She was in constant motion, trying to keep us all occupied in much the same way that a juggler tries to keep all the balls in the air. We all had different answers for Monsignor, which was the same as having none. We all remained silent.

Monsignor's brow clouded as the silence lengthened. We were in danger of losing his relatively benevolent mood. I raised my hand. (One did not blurt out answers in Catholic school.) His eye lit upon me and his smile flickered back into unsteady existence like a guttering flame.

“Yes, Zenobius, can you tell me what you've been learning today?”

I don't know about other Catholic schools, but in ours there were no diminutives or nicknames. We had no Bills or Bobs or Kates, only Williams and Roberts and Catherines. And you had to have a saint's name, which Monsignor would insist on using. (Sorry, Courtney and Madison. No room for you at the inn.) Monsignor would not dream of calling me “Zee” if he could dredge up a suitable saint's name.

I stood up at my desk. You don't remain seated while addressing Monsignor.

“Yes, Monsignor. We were learning about the Bible.”

The priest smiled down at me. I was already one of his favorites, the little kiss-ass smarty-pants who was reading well above grade level and could spout the memorized Latin responses at mass like a seminarian. No doubt I was already marked down as a potential vocational recruit. My classmates were undoubtedly relieved that I had forestalled Monsignor's potential wrath, but it was equally certain that I was not their hero. It would be advisable for me to watch my back during recess.

“Very good, Zenobius. Very good. And could you recite the names of the books of the Bible for me?”

The school uniform for boys mandated salt-and-pepper corduroy pants for everyday wear. They had the significant advantage of concealing whether or not you had wet your pants. At that moment, I was suddenly on the verge of benefiting from that feature. It wasn't possible that Monsignor seriously expected me to know that. Genesis was the first one, but what came after? I was completely blank and completely horrified that Monsignor would put me on the spot like that. What cruel game was he playing?

It was a game, but I didn't know the rules. More to the point, Monsignor was playing the starring role in a movie that he had scripted in his head, but the supporting cast hadn't seen the script and we often failed to respond appropriately to our cues. It was one of the reasons that Monsignor's life was a series of disappointments, both minor and major. I was about to be another minor one.

“Um. I don't know, Monsignor.”

A look of mystifying disappointment crossed his face. How could he be surprised? I was utterly perplexed. No kid my age could be expected to remember all seventy-three books.

“The list begins with Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy,” he patiently told me.

“Yes, Monsignor.”

“And then you say, ‘Please move over, Monsignor.’”

My confusion increased; but then, suiting his actions to his words, Monsignor stepped aside and I saw the names of the books of the Bible written on the chalkboard, right where Mrs. Roe had written them earlier in the week. The penny finally dropped. Or, more to the point, I glimpsed the page of Monsignor's mental script that included my cues. He had projected upon me his own sly cleverness and had composed a little comedy sketch in which I had failed to play my part. No doubt his disappointment in me was keen. I had not risen to the opportunity and had, in fact, completely forgotten what was on the board behind him. No doubt he had even positioned himself to block my view of it, setting up the entire scenario, but I insisted on missing my marks and my cues.

“Oh. Sorry, Monsignor.”

But he had already retreated into his cynical mode, probably berating himself for having expected anything from anybody, and waved his hand dismissively to indicate that I should sit back down. Monsignor looked around for our teacher, nodded his head at her, and then swept out of the classroom. I noticed that he exited by the front door. That made sense, especially since it was possible that a knife-wielding fanatic was lurking by the back door.

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Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Men

Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Men
Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Men

Valentines Day Gift Ideas for Men visit Gifts.com to find gifts for Men from the best stores on the Web. See our Gift top picks for Men based on their age, personality or interests. Shop for unique or personalized gifts for Men.

1.- Massive Flask
2.- Personalized Memory Lane Print for Couples
3.- Stories of Love Pillows from Bold Loft
4.- Microbrew of the Month Club
5.- Personalized Pop Art Portraits
6.- Multi-Function Emergency Tools
7.- Edible Chocolate Body Paint
8.- Smitten for Love Birds
9.- Sun Jar
10.- Design & Create Your Own Converse Sneakers
11.- Create-Your-Own Tee Shirt
12.- Personalized Photo Lamps and Nightlights
13.- "You’re Special Day" Life Magazine
14.- Personalized "Monopoly" Game
15.- Golf Club Drink Dispensers
16.- Unique Cocktail Shakers & Bar Sets
17.- Classic Nintendo System All-In-One Console
18.- Unique Wine Carafes
19.- Custom Photo Mosaic Pictures
20.- Unusual Wine Servers
21.- Weekend of Love Kits
22.- New York Times Reprints from Any Date
23.- Genius Pen with Built-in Paper
24.- Own One Acre of Land on the Moon

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Bush trimming

Conservation of negativity

A few people have felt compelled to point out to me that the Bush countdown clock in the right margin of my blog has served its purpose: “Hey Zeno, your Bush countdown is moot now.” Well, maybe. But I'm still enjoying it. I deliberately left it in place to see if it would decrement into negative numbers and was pleased to see that it did. While a negative influence has been removed from the White House, a negative factor now appears in the countdown clock. Negativity has been conserved!

And Bush's place in history is secure.

The clock won't last much longer. For now, though, it serves as a reminder every time I visit my blog that he really is gone. It's a nice feeling.

Goodbye and good riddance.



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Four-letter word

Short words and small minds

Oh, oh. We are apparently in the grip of a tsarist resurgence. Had you noticed? The national media assures us that this is so. This is especially true of the petulant right-wing publications that are having trouble processing the fact that liberals triumphed in the last election. (Liberals! In a center-right nation!) But even the more moderate national press isn't exempt. Here's a sampler of examples:

President-elect Barack Obama is nearing an appointment of his “car czar” and appears to be focused on Steven Rattner, the financier with close connections to the Democratic Party, according to people briefed on the conversations. —New York Times, January 13, 2009

Role of Federal Tech Czar to Be Defined by Obama. —Washington Post, November 14, 2008

Sen. James M. Inhofe, ranking Republican on the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee, asked Nancy Sutley, Mr. Obama's pick for Council on Environmental Quality (CEQ) chairman, whether she would be undermined by the new climate czar, Carol M. Browner. —Washington Times, January 19, 2009

Obama Era of 1,000 Czars Ushers in Caesar. —NewsMax.com, November 14, 2008.


Too Many Czars? —Sacramento Union, January 22, 2009
It's scary, I tell you. The latest item, published in the Sacramento Union, is from the columnist Peter Hannaford, a relic of the Reagan years who has yet to come to terms with the 21st century (and apparently wasn't too crazy about the 20th either). As Hannaford puts it,
The Obama White House starts out with no fewer than eight “czars” (including at least two czarinas). There is one each for the economy, energy, health care, counter-terrorism, government performance, regulations, urban affairs and education.

All modern presidents have had staff specialists for various major topics. The National Security Council and Council of Economic Advisers have been with us for decades. The idea is to develop information and options for the president in various areas independent of the bureaucracies of the cabinet departments. A specialist, however, is one thing, a czar quite another.

The term “czar” implies that the person holding the title is supreme in his particular area, not only coordinating the work of various relevant agencies, but also determining priorities and conveying the president’s orders.
Yes, the term “czar” smacks of supreme arbitrary authority. Imagine the effrontery, the nerve, the cheek of the Obama administration to so lightly assume the trappings of totalitarianism!

Except...

It didn't.

Go ahead and check the White House website. In fact, try searching it with Google (now that President Obama has revoked the Bush blockade on search-engine indexing of on-line executive branch information). Use “czar site:whitehouse.gov” to see what you get.

Nothing, basically. All the hits are from the Bush administration. Nothing from the new Obama administration, despite the new president's supposed fondness for creating positions for a new horde of little despots and using titles from the days of imperial Russia.

Carol Browner, the energy (or climate) czar? She's actually Obama's “energy coordinator,” although Time magazine headlined her appointment as “Energy Czar: Carol Browner.”

Cass Sunstein? The president has appointed him as chief administrator of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs within the executive branch's Office of Management and Budget. The Chicago Tribune, however, heralds Sunstein's nomination with “Left not sold on Obama's regulation czar pick.”

I think I gave the game away with that one, right? Sunstein's real title is just too long. The Tribune's headline writer would be hard pressed to fit “head of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs” into the space allowed for an article heading. Even “OIRA administrator” would be a challenge, but hardly anyone would understand it.

There are only two reasons that “czar” is the word of the moment:
  1. It's short, fitting into headlines and serving as a convenient synonym for much lengthier titles. It's not perfect, but convenience rules the press in circumstances like these.
  2. Right-wing commentators have so little to work with these days that they seize upon anything as a basis for their fulminations. After eight years of autocratic rule by their boy George, they need a way to project the hubris of the past onto the new occupant of the White House.
Reason (1) I fully understand, especially in print media, but I decry its casual use in broadcast media and don't see why newspapers insist on using it in the main body of their articles (as opposed to headlines). Laziness and convenience are not difficult to understand.

Reason (2) I also understand, but for those wingnut propagandists I have no patience. They are spinning as hard as they can, trying to whip something out of nothing. (It ought to work. They turned a transplanted Texas lackwits into a president.) For them I have a four-letter word other than “czar”:

Forget you!

Darn. I think I misspelled it.

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Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Him

Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Him

Pics Source: photoartomation.com


Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Him


Find Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Him free service dedicated to helping people find gift ideas.

Personalized Conversation Hearts© Candy Jar with Hershey's Kisses
$24.95 from Personalization Mall - Express your feelings in a deliciously fun way! Candy jar is custom personalized with your own special messages engraved inside each conversation heart then filled to the top with irresistible Hershey Chocolate Kisses®!

Personalized Valentine Postcard Glass Block
$16.95 from Personal Creations - Perfect for valentines who cannot be together this year. Your message of love will last forever when you deliver it on our exquisite solid glass block postcard.

Valentine's Day Toilet Paper
$14.95 from JustPaperRoses, Inc. - Is there a better way to say "I Love You From Top To Bottom"?

Valentine's Day Jar Filled with Personal Messages
$32.00 from Notable You - Six beautiful designs! Express your love with a beautiful glass jar filled with your personal sentiments. Choose the design, the messages, we do the rest! Creatively packaged, these gifts are treasured forever!

Valentine Caricature
$35.00 from Caricature King - Get a romantic Valentine gift caricature or portrait that portrays your love and devotion. Black & white or color. Fast service.
Discounts start for 2 or more people in one image or in unique caricatures. Group caricatures welcome!

My Valentine Jar of Daily Messages in Mini Envelopes
$31.95 from Kind Notes - The envelopes have pink & red lips with gray XOXO over a black background & the interior is pink, red & white. Also comes with a filling of red feathers sprinkled with hearts & lips confetti. Accented with a red satin ribbon.

Survival Kit for My Valentine
$15.00 from Pixie Dust Gifts - Have a special Valentine that you'd like to tell just how special they are and how much they mean to you? This 3 inch metal slip cover tin is filled with candy and other items guaranteed to make them smile.

Today, Tomorrow & Always Message Bottle Gift Set
$39.95 from One Passion Place - Send someone you care about our unique "Today Tomorrow & Always" edition gift bottle. Filled with real rose petals, heart shaped confetti pieces, and key, this special gift bottle will be quite the showpiece. Sent gift boxed.

Valentine Fortune Cookies
$3.99 from Oriental Trading Company - Each red or pink cookie has a Valentine message inside. Surprise someone on February 14th by giving them a special fortune! Individually wrapped. 50 pieces.

Afraid to Lose You Keepsake
$48.00 from Abe nook - Express your true love with our romantic acrylic heart Valentine poem. The heart-shaped plaque is made of solid clear acrylic and features a stunning rosewood finished heart in the center.

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Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Guys

Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Guys
Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Guys

Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Guys Gadget Guru Gifts for Men find gifts for guys from the best stores on the Web. Gift Gurus top picks for men based on their age, personality or interests. Shop for unique or personalized gifts for guys.

1. The NEW 4th Generation iPod Nano
2. Practical Waterproof Shower Radios & Music Players
3. iRobot's Looj- The Gutter Cleaning Robot
4. Multiple-Gadget Charging Stations
5. Super-Slim Credit Card-Size Multi-Tools
6. Virtual Portable IMAX Theater Experience
7. Rad LEGO Watches for Fun Times
8. Wake Up Alert & Refreshed With The Sleeptracker
9. The Ultimate Must-Have USB Gadgets
10. Hyperpen Desktop Writing Tablets
11. Solar-Powered Gadget Chargers
12. Remote Control Keys Locators
13. Cool Color-Changing Desktop Gadgets
14. Voice-Activated R2-D2
15. USB Gadgets for the Serious Student
16. Pen Scanners for Copious Note Takers
17. R/C Spy Cars With Video Cameras
18. Must-Have USB Gadgets
19. Art Print Skins For The iPhone
20. The iPod Touch
21. Water-Powered Eco Clocks
22. One Share of Stock for the Tech Geek
23. In-Home Digital Message Center

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Valentines Day For Him

Valentines Day For Him
Valentines Day For Him

The Top 7 Valentine's Day Gifts for Him are as follows:

1. iPod Touch

2. Canon Vixia Digital Camcorder

3. Universal Remote

4. Power Tools

5. Sharp Aquos LCD TV

6. A New Wallet

7. Apple iTunes Gift Certificate

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Unique Valentines Day Gifts For Him

Unique Valentines Day Gifts For Him
Unique Valentines Day Gifts For Him

The Top 10 Unique Valentines Day Gifts for Him are as follows:


1. Romantic Cookies and Sweets
$22.00 at Williams-Sonoma

2. Stories of Love Pillows from BoldLoft
$36.00 at Amazon

3. Puppy Love Bouquets
$109.99 at 1-800-flowers.com

4. Red "Romantic" Bouquets
$44.95 at Teleflora

5. "Passionate Love" Red Rose Bouquets
$139.99 at FTD Flowers

6. Cheese-of-the-Month Club
$134.85 at Amazing Clubs

7. Chocolate-Dipped Fortune Cookies
$32.99 at 1-800-flowers.com

8. Playful Roomy Rompers
$78.00 at Shopbop.com

9. Personalized Message Jigsaw Puzzles
$14.98 at Personal Creations

10. Personalized Athletic Shorts for Sweeties
$22.95 at PersonalizationMall.com

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Homemade Valentines Day Gifts For Him

Homemade Valentines Day Gifts For Him
Homemade Valentines Day Gifts For Him

Here are some tips for Homemade Valentines Day Gifts for Him.

- Get some saplings from the local nursery. Plant them in your garden in way that it shows both your initials. With time, they will grow into lovely plants that signify your growing love for each other.

- Make a gift basket for your beloved with an assortment of all those little things that you may have been collecting. Do not forget to fill up empty spaces with candies and chocolates.

- Make a personalized journal for your loved one telling why you love him/her so much. You can use love quotes too. Decorate it with some bright colors and photographs of the two of you.

- Make love rocks and carve special messages in them. Make around 8-10 such love rocks, put them in a crystal bowl and keep it in your bedroom.

- If you know the fine art of embroidery, you can embroidery your names in a blanket with small hearts and stars around it symbolizing your glowing love for each other.

- Get a picture of yours printed on a pillow cover or a shirt or the apron you use. It makes a great homemade personal gift.

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The lidless eye

Evil stalks us

An unsleeping malice has crept up from the Dark South and lain in wait for me. Today it pounced. I was minding my own business, tending to the fuel requirements of my vehicle, when the gas pump came to electronic life and began to bombard me with commercial advertisements. Yes, a northern California Shell station had become infested with TV ads, with small televisions blaring out commercials from atop each pump. It was a nightmare come true.

The ads were interspersed with public-service announcements, offering me advice about road conditions. I guess that's supposed to make it all okay. Then the screen flashed an in-house ad for PumpTop TV, extolling the benefits of shoving advertising into yet a another new venue. (Yesterday, the inside surfaces of restroom stalls; today, the tops of gasoline pumps; tomorrow, the world!) The purveyors of this new intrusion into our lives are not shy when it comes to bragging about their intentions:

PumpTop TV is a premier Out-of-Home Digital Media network that delivers current news, entertainment and advertising to millions of drivers as they fuel their vehicles at the gas pump. Daylight-viewable LCD screens mounted at eye level on top of gasoline pumps at select, high-volume gas stations provide a broadcast television-like experience (video and audio) to a desirable, captive audience out of the home.
Yeah, “captive audience.” They actually say it.

Damn them.

Apparently this new venture has been building for a couple of years. Westinghouse brags that their equipment is now installed in some 700 service stations. The invasion apparently began in Los Angeles in the first half of 2007. I was blissfully unaware of its gradual encroachment on northern California until the ads began to blare at me.

I will not go to that gas station again, but I fear I am fighting a doomed rear-guard action. The soulsuckers are here.

I'm too mild-mannered to use the hammer from the toolbox in the trunk of my car, but I can think of some nice new applications for contact paper.

Damn.

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Homemade Valentines Day Gifts For Guys

Homemade Valentines Day Gifts For Guys
Homemade Valentines Day Gifts For Guys

The homemade Valentines Day gifts for guys should be romantic like:

- Candlelit Dinner
- Painting showing Love
- A Gift Basket with flowers
- Love Coupon
- Write Love Letters from Heart

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Creative Valentines Day Gifts For Him

Creative Valentines Day Gifts For Him
Creative Valentines Day Gifts For Him

The creative Valentines Day gifts for him are classified into three groups.


1. Valentines Day Gift for Husbands

- Gestures of Love
- Gifts of Interest
- A Romantic Getaway


2. Valentines Day Gift for Fiancé

- Fresh Flowers
- Shirt Hampers
- Wrist Watches
- Port Folio Bags


3. Valentines Day Gift for Boyfriend

- Pampering with Love
- Ticket for a Music Concert
- Miscellaneous Gift Ideas

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Creative Valentines Day Gifts For Guys

Creative Valentines Day Gifts For Guys
Creative Valentines Day Gifts For Guys

The following gifts fit a creative Valentines Day gifts for guys.

- Personalized Family Portraits on Canvas
- Unique Logography Action Cameras
- "Lil' Piece of My Heart" Pocket Keepsake
- Shadow Wall Art Lamps
- Awesome Art Print Skins For iPods
- Create-Your-Own Tee Shirt
- Custom-Drawn Mark Weber Comic Strip
- Tabletop Photo Studio for Avid Ebayers
- Art Print Skins For The iPhone
- Follow Your Heart Compasses
- Pop Art Graphic Prints by Avalisa
- Personalized Pop Art Portraits
- Art Print Laptop Skins
- Create Your Own Manga-Style Print
- Multi-Picture Gallery Frames Sets
- Totally Unique Nooka Watches
- "My Life" Autobiography Journals
- Genius Pen with Built-in Paper
- Uniquely Brilliant Lamps
- Hilarious Sticky Notepads for Fun at the Office

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Snubbing Sully

Credit where it's due

The editorial cartoonist for the McClatchy newspapers decided this weekend to honor the hero of the New York City airliner crash. You might be thinking that Rex Babin chose to sing the praises of Chesley Sullenberger, the veteran pilot who lives here in California and whose cool-headed response to the air-borne emergency resulted in the survival of his plane's entire crew and all of its passengers.

Nope. Babin says God did it.


Now if only God had chosen to be more helpful during other plane crashes. The ones in which he let people die. But I guess he was busy.

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Valentines Day Crafts

Valentines Day Crafts
Valentines Day Crafts

Here are some Valentines Day Crafts.

Valentine Bear Ornament
Paint and decorate a wooden bear to hang around all year to brighten your Valentine's Day.

Love Bug Visor
You will look really kissable in your love bug head gear.

Heart Mobile
Make a fun and funky mobile to hang in your room or give to a friend.

Potpourri Sachets
Fill pretty little organza bags with potpourri to hand out to your friends and family.

Valentine Lollipop Covers
Use your lollipops and our kits to make a great little give-away for Valentine's Day.

Valentine Mouse Pad
Easy project that comes out great!

Valentine Basket
Weave a basket to hold your cards, a treat or give a small gift to your valentine.

Valentine Heart Pillow
Complete kit makes this a super easy for you and super fun for the kids.

Beginner Sewing Ideas Valentine Woven Placemats
Weave one for every member of you family.

Bandana Wreath
Make a cool hippy chic accessory for your room from a bandana.

Heart Boa Decoration
Not just for Valentine's Day!

I Love You Key Ring Decoration
Great for the classroom! Clip this "I Love You" Decoration to your back pack, your key ring or give it to someone special.

Valentine's Day Pony Bead Patterns
Heart Hugs & Kisses Arrow
I Love You
LUV

Candy Kiss Rose
Wrap up a couple of candy kisses to make them look like a rose for your valentine.

Mini Heart Shaped Box with Photo
Make a Valentine Box to fill with candy or a small treasure for someone you love.

Valentine Heart Magnet
Here's a cute valentine project to make at school.

Heart Woodsy Frame
This pretty little frame makes up really cute in just minutes.

Home Made Bubble Bath
Turn all those half empty bottles of shampoo into bubble bath for your Mom, your friend or yourself!

Valentine Wand
Wave a magic wand for Valentine's Day and spread love throughout the land.

Love Bug
Here's the yarn bug that started the trend. Make one for your sweetheart and one for yourself. Too!

Fancy Favor Boxes
Dress up our mini boxes in fancy dresses for an adorable party favor.

Message in a Bottle
Looking for a really unique idea for a card or an invitation? Make a message in a bottle! For a little extra postage you can even put them right in the mail.

Potpourri Dough Air Fresheners
Potpourri air fresheners are fun to make. They look pretty and smell great, too!

Bear Candy Holder
Fill our loveable bear's tummy with candy to give it to someone special. Great classroom project!

Plant Pals
Made from craft sticks and precut wood hearts, our plant pals are a great way to personalize a gift plant. Choose from five different pals: Cat, Bird, Dog, Mouse, and Pig.

Valentine's Day Door Hangers
Design a door hanger for Valentine's Day and give it to someone you love!

Sew Simple Gift Pouch
Make a drawstring bag to hold a special gift for your favorite person.

I Love You Candy
Take apart candy necklaces and weave them into valentine message. If you like this project, you can also weave candy geckos.

Holiday Back Pack Decorations
Quick and easy projects with no mess!

Hearts & Flowers Magnets
Here's a pretty gift you can make for Mom or Grandma... or yourself!

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I beg your pardon?

Will Obama be 45?

Everyone is anticipating the swearing-in on Tuesday of Barack Obama as our 44th president. Three years ago, however, I considered the possibility that the person sworn in on January 20, 2009, would actually be our 45th. In speculating about the future, I hit some marks (Pelosi is speaker; Bush is hugely unpopular) and missed others (the Senate does not have a 50-50 split; the House did not aggressively investigate the Bush administration; Al Gore was not the Democratic candidate), but there are some things we may never know.

What if George Bush and Dick Cheney decided it would be good, as a precaution, to immunize themselves from criminal prosecution? You can read my original 2006 post for the entire scenario, but here are the key paragraphs:

The president had hoped that someone would say something uplifting on the occasion of his last day in office, but his guests were all business. It would have been difficult in any case to offer the customary platitudes about missions accomplished or goals achieved. The nation was eager to see him gone and his approval numbers had long languished in the low twenties, rivaling Nixon's just before his resignation. The disastrous 2006 elections had saddled him with a Democratic House of Representatives and nonstop congressional hearings on executive branch corruption had taken a toll. Articles of impeachment had not been voted, but scores of Bush administration officials had scrambled to secure immunity in return for their testimony. The American people seemed simultaneously disgusted and fascinated by the spectacle. The president had been disappointed in his hopes that they would soon be sated and lose interest. Instead the voters had decided that the 2006 results were a half-measure. They had used the 2008 election to increase Speaker Pelosi's margin in the House and broken the tie in the Senate, making Harry Reid the majority leader. Both the Democratic and Republican nominees for president had campaigned against the incumbent, the latter only slightly less overtly than the former.

The secretary of state was carrying a slender portfolio. She slipped a single sheet of paper out of it, stiff bond paper carrying the White House letterhead, and placed it on the desk before the president. He took up a pen and quickly signed it. “Here you go, Dick.”


“Thank you, Mr. President.” The vice president accepted the proffered sheet of paper, folded it carefully, and slipped it into the inside pocket of his coat. The secretary of state pulled another sheet of paper from her portfolio and placed it before the president. George Bush stared at it for several seconds, then wielded his pen again.

“Thank you, Mr. President,” said the secretary of state, suddenly keenly aware that it was now just a courtesy title. She carefully placed the resignation letter back into her portfolio. Mrs. Cheney began to rummage in her large handbag and pulled out a Bible. With impeccable timing, a muffled rap on the door accompanied the entrance of Mr. Alito, the junior associate justice of the Supreme Court. The Court was precariously split down the middle and the president had been unable to fill the Stevens vacancy because the emboldened Democrats in the U.S. Senate had blocked his nominee. The Democratic president-elect would begin his term of office with a crucial Supreme Court appointment.

President No. 44

Justice Alito was wearing a business suit rather than judicial robes. He greeted the occupants of the Oval Office and they quickly arranged themselves, Cheney with his right hand lifted, his left hand on the Bible in his wife's hands, and Bush and Rice to one side. “Please repeat after me. I, Richard Cheney, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.” The former vice president echoed the justice's words, ending his recitation with an emphatic, “So help me God!” The words were a traditional coda to the presidential oath of office, but they were not actually in the U.S. Constitution.

“Congratulations, Mr. President,” said Justice Alito, shaking Cheney's hand. The new president exchanged a quick kiss with the new first lady and then shook hands with his immediate predecessor and the secretary of state. “Okay,” he said. “Let's finish this.”

Secretary Rice dipped into her portfolio again. In addition to the presidential resignation letter, it contained her own previously signed presidential pardon and one other sheet of White House stationery. She placed it on the desk and President Cheney signed it. He handed the document to Bush, who stared at it until Rice suggested she take care of it for him. He gratefully handed his own presidential pardon to the secretary of state.

“Of course, it's not like we are really going to need that,” he said, trying to make light of it.

“It doesn't hurt to be safe, George,” said President Cheney. The former president's eyes widened at the use of his first name and he flinched as if struck. Bush opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again.
Think it couldn't happen? It all depends on Dick, doesn't it?

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Valentines Day Wedding

Valentines Day Wedding
Valentines Day Wedding

Valentines Day Wedding theme and style ideas.

Valentine's Day Wedding Theme

- Cupid Drops - Glass Heart Sprinkles
- Wedding Favors Linked Hearts Chrome Bottle Stopper
- "The Perfect Pick" Boxed Favors X&O Food Picks 4ct
- Pink Heart "Love" Favor Candle
- Plain Edged Conversation Hearts
- Heart Bottle Stopper - Deluxe Package
- 3.5" Choice Crystal Long Stem Rose
- Linked Hearts Place card Clip - Set of 12
- Sheer Heart Shaped Organza Bags - Set of 10
- Candy Heart Place card Holders - Set of 12
- Candy Heart Stick Candles - Package of 12
- GelGems Heart Jewels


Valentine's Day Wedding Style Ideas

- Show Your Love
- Find Your True Colors
- Seal It with a Kiss
- Create Room for Romance
- Add Some Mood Lighting
- Say It with Flowers
- Toast Your Love
- Have Your Cake and More
- Play Sweet Music
- Give 'Em Some Sugar

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Valentines Day Lyrics

Valentines Day Lyrics
Valentines Day Lyrics

The Linkin Park Valentine's Day Lyrics.

My insides all turn to ash,
So slow.
And blow away as I collapsed,
So cold.

A black winter been away,
From sight.
Another darkness over day,
That night.
And the clouds above move closer,
Looking so dissatisfied.
But the harvest wind kept blowing, blowing.
I used to be my own protection,
But not now.
'Cause my path has lost direction,
Somehow.

A black winter took you away,
From sight.

Another darkness over day,
That night.
And the clouds above move closer,
Looking so dissatisfied.
And the ground below grew colder,
As they put you down inside.
But the harvest wind kept blowing, blowing.

So now you're gone,
And I was wrong.
I never knew what it was like,

To be alone on a Valentine's Day,
To be alone on a Valentine's Day.

I used to be my own protection,
But not now.
'Cause my path has lost direction,
Somehow.

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Valentines Day 2009

Valentines Day 2009


Valentines Day 2009


Valentines Day 2009 is on 14th February 2009, Saturday.

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Valentines Day Clip Art

Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art
Valentines Day Clip Art

The collection of my Valentines Day Clip Art.

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Valentines Day Quotes

Valentines Day Quotes
Valentines Day Quotes

Valentines Day Quotes Just for you.

- Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

- Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

- Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.

- I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

- I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.

- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

- I've fallen in love many times... always with you.

- Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.

- Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.

- Love is a game that two can play and both win.

- Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.

- Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.

- Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.

- Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.

- Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.

- Many are the stars I see, but in my eye no star likes thee.

- Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine!

- Take away love and our earth is a tomb.

- The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.

- Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

- Are we not like two volumes of one book?

- Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.

- We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

- We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.

- We loved with a love that was more than love.

- What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you.

- When love is not madness, it is not love.

- When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.

- Who, being loved, is poor?

- Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.

- Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.

- You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.

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Valentines Day Pictures

Valentines Day Pictures
Valentines Day Pictures
Valentines Day Pictures
Valentines Day Pictures
Valentines Day Pictures
Valentines Day Pictures

Here are some Valentines Day Pictures.

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